How to overcome Fears and Phobias in a Child

It is probably safe to say that every child has fears in varying degrees. Some are the normal fears of childhood while others are not. It is the role of the parent to reassure a frightened youngster. The ability to do this well can result in the child's feeling secure and safe in his present and later life.
A certain amount of fear is healthy and understandable. It keeps us and our children out of harm's way. We teach our children to fear running into a busy street, accepting candy from strangers, swallowing unidentified substances from the medicine cabinet, et cetera. In such cases, we are teaching our children to fear the results. We are, in essence, teaching them caution which is quite a different matter from dealing with a youngster who is responding to an imaginary rather than a real danger. Such a child evidencing anxiety when there doesn't seem to be anything specific to be anxious about, whose fear is so great, it borders on becoming a phobia.

In a survey a number of years ago, the fifteen most common human fears were identified, some of which relate to children's fears. They are:

• Darkness

• Being alone

• Angry people

• Rejection

• Disapproval

• Failure

• Making Mistakes

• Dogs

• Public speaking

• Dentists

• Hospitals (blood)

• Spiders

• Taking tests

• Deformed people

• Police

• Getting lost

• Being kidnapped

• Dogs

• Fire

• Harm coming to a parent

• Failing in school

• Monsters

• Storms/thunder/lightening

• Bugs

• Snakes

• Social isolation


How Parents can help.

For children of all ages, it is important that parents acknowledge anxieties and fears. Be understanding. Do not abandon an upset child. Instead, talk them through it. Most importantly, convey your confidence that they are capable of not only handling this fear, but overcoming it. It is essential that your child believe you are confident in their abilities to handle situations. If you seem worried, they will become increasingly anxious. Teaching confidence will go a long way in combating fears.

For younger children, routine is the key. Bland, repetitive routines encourage a feeling of security. If your child is afraid of the dark, ensure that bedtime is a monotonous, non-exciting time. Every night at a specific time your child should do the same activities in the same order. For example, they should know that every night at 7 p.m. they take a bath, brush their teeth, read a book and go to bed. Since many fears are manifestations of separation anxiety, calming routines will help your child feel safe and protected.

At what point should a parent be concerned?

Parents are encouraged to use their common sense and parental intuition to assess whether a fear warrants real concern. Observe other children and see if your child appears different from others in their age group. Feel free to ask other parents their viewpoints. If a child is past the age where it is developmentally normal for them to be afraid of something, for example, monsters, it may be time to consult a pediatrician.

The most important indicator that a fear has reached a concerning or phobic stage is that it is interfering in the child's everyday ability to function.

Some fears never entirely disappear. Adults may revert back to fears from childhood during particularly stressful times in their lives. Again, this becomes abnormal when a person is no longer able to function normally. But, in general, childhood fears are a normal occurrence that is overcome with age.